Firmness Guide - Find Your Perfect Feel!

When you pick a new toy, you’ll meet the question: how soft or firm should it be? “Firmness” is simply how the silicone behaves under pressure, how much it yields, how clearly you feel textures, whether it stands on its own, and how comfortable it stays over time. There’s no “best” setting, only what’s right for you. This guide keeps it practical and helps you choose with confidence.

What firmness really means

Softer silicone gives more: knots and ridges feel gentler, thrusting is cushioned. Firmer silicone stays sharper: details are more pronounced, the toy keeps its line and transfers movement more directly.

You may see numbers like Shore A or Shore 00. They’re lab scales for softness. Useful as a rough map, not a final verdict 00 and A aren’t directly comparable (00-30 ≠ A-30). Use numbers as a hint; your body gives the real answer.

Important reality check: what often changes the feel the most isn’t the recipe it’s the geometry. Thicker sections feel firmer and resist bending; thinner sections feel softer and flex easily.

How the common ranges feel

Soft

• Feel: clearly yielding but not melty.
  
• Great for: medium to large toys, comfort-forward play; textures are present without poking.
  
• Note: for plugs, pair with a firmer base for security.
  

Medium

• Feel: the balanced middle. Holds shape, gives nice feedback, textures read cleanly.
  
• Great for: most small to mid sizes, thrusting, solo or partnered.
  
• Note: on very chunky toys, Medium can feel intense compared to Soft.
  

Firm

• Feel: precise and shape-true; edges and reliefs are vivid; stands on its own more often.
  
• Great for: plugs, suction-cup use, slim toys that should “steer,” and anyone who wants strong definition.
  
• Note: for thick diameters, Firm can escalate fast—consider sizing down or using a split build.

Choosing your firmness without guesswork

Size & mass

• Small–mid sizes: Medium is a safe, versatile start.
  
• Big or heavy shapes: Soft (or Very Soft) helps your body relax into it.
  
• Slim and long: Medium or Firm for control.
  

Shape & texture

• Big knots / bold ridges: softer blends make them kinder; firmer blends make them louder.
  
• Fine details: show best in Medium/Firm.
  
• Smooth profiles: work in any firmness go by feel.
  

Use case

• Thrusting / riding: Medium for feedback, Soft for endurance.
  
• Plugs, free-standing, suction cups: Firm or Split with a firm base.
  
• Long wear (e.g., holding a knot): softer is usually friendlier.
  

Experience & sensitivity

• New to this? Medium almost never disappoints.
  
• Sensitive / get overstimulated? Soft.
  
• Want maximum definition? Firm (maybe one size down).

Plain truths that actually matter

Thickness rules the feel. Thicker walls = feels firmer; thin sections = feels softer and more flexible.

Temperature is secondary. Warmth can make silicone slightly more pliable, but geometry and wall thickness change the feel far more.

Lube is non-negotiable. Especially with texture and firmer blends. Water-based is universally safe; skip oils.

Firmness doesn’t shrink size. If it’s too big, it’s too big—blend won’t change circumference.

You can’t re-harden a toy later. If you’re torn, Split/Dual Density is a smart middle path.